by Katie Mullin, Director of Content and Community
For many, waking up each morning this past week has felt a bit like Groundhog’s Day. This again? Some of us hoped to wake up to a different reality and instead have to walk out our daily routines with the same, discouraging backdrop.
So you may balk when I say that living my day twice is something I’m trying to practice in these uncertain and heart rending times. The method I’m using to double dip is the Jesuit prayer of Examen—a short, daily prayer which draws my attention to the awareness of God’s presence.
You can look online for any number of ways to pray this prayer (here is an Examen for civic life) but in its simplest form it offers an opportunity to acknowledge God’s presence, invite the Spirit’s gaze, consider the day, express gratitude, give confession, and ask for continuing presence in the days to come.
Most of us live our lives hour by hour without much awareness of the larger story that’s being told or our part in it. It’s not easy to take in each moment, to know how we feel, or to give thanks (or express grief) as events are unfolding.
A recent Modern Love podcast with Andrew Garfield reminded me of the film About Time. It’s the story of Tim—a man who has the ability to time travel and goes back to the past to improve his future. (Anybody?) A friend with a terminal illness tells Tim that to be truly happy, you have to live each day twice—the first time experiencing all of the ordinariness and the anxiety and the second time noticing how beautiful life really is.
I can’t say that the secret to happiness is found in praying the Examen. I’m not sure happiness is the point. But I can say that when I look back over my day in front of God, I notice things I did not see in the moment. And during these days of doom scrolling and real pressures, I need to see and believe that God is near. Remembering a tender conversation with a friend, feeling the sun on my face, petting a beloved pet, or hearing a favorite song—any of these opens me to the reality that I’m loved and I’m not alone.
As I figure out how to live well during this next season, the Jesuit prayer of Examen continues to be a faithful and helpful practice for me. May it be so for you as well.
